VAX Trek V The Movie: "The Crunchy Bits" ---------------------------------------- Episode 5: ---------- Captain's Log Stardate 3.1415927 -------------------------------- We are cruising at warp factor 3 in a previously uncharted corner of the galaxy and... Spock: "Excuse me for interrupting Captain, but must you use such simplistic and inaccurate language? The word "corner" just has no meaning in relation to the concepts of space and time, indeed it is even theorised that the words space and time themselves are ultimately just labels for indescribable and poorly understood deeper concepts." Jim: "....You do the damn log then smarty.." [**** BUMP !!! ****] Jim: "..What the..." Sulu: "Captain!..We've stoppped dead!" Jim: "Not AGAIN!...what have you hit THIS time....Yawn...Bring up the forward view on the screen." Sulu: "Aye aye Captain" Jim: "I don't believe it.....I just DON'T believe it..." Spock: "...highly illogical.." Sulu: "It would appear to be a large...wall..in fact..two large brick walls...meeting at approximately 90 degrees to each other....." Spock: "Groan..." Jim: "Ok Spock, you're fired." Spock: "But Captain!" Jim: "No buts....you're off at the next Federation Starbase" Spock: "Wait...this CAN'T be right...let me try something..." [Fiddles with various scanner controls...] Spock: "There! The scanners indicate the presence of 3 Klingon ships behind the walls...It's obviously just an image thrown up by their cloaking device." Jim: "Klingons!..I might have known....but how can a holographic image from a cloaking device actually feel solid?...we did get quite a thump when we hit it after all..." Spock: "Ah....good point" [There is an explosion on the forward viewer and a gaping hole appears in one of the walls...through which 3 Klingon battlecruisers emerge...] Spock: "Bang goes that theory..if you pardon the pun" Jim: "This is getting silly....who's writing this week's episode?" Sulu: "Scanners indicate that it's the same writer as for the other episodes" Jim: "Ok...we'll trust that he can get us out of this convincingly... Anyway....Uhura...open all hailing frequencies and make contact with the Klingon vessels" Uhura: "Aye aye sir..." Jim: "...and one other thing Uhura....get that beard seen to" Uhura: (Standing up suddenly brandishing a phaser) "Grrrrr! Ok I've had enough of you Kirk......All of you...over there..and get your hands up" ********************* Next Week: Episode 6. ************************ Galactic Credits: ---------------- Story by: DJY Special Effects: DJY Spock's Ears: Sort of pointy Transporter Powered By: Duracell batteries VAX Computer System kindly run by: Those Great Computer Centre Peeps Impostor Uhura Supplied By: Zorko's Dwarf Emporium Tune in again..same time..same channel...next week...for another thrilling episode.... SPECIAL OFFER: Get your own Tricorder, just like Mr. Spock's, for only 2 pounds 99p, from: Starship Enterprises, Mr.Spock's *Official* Tricorder Offer, PO Box 42, Pythagoras Street, Planet Vulcan.